Native Instruments buy Technics fake spoof

The last 48 hours has seen the usual channels agog with news that Native Instruments were dipping into their corporate coffers ready to snap up the iconic Technics brand in a bid to “remove the memory of the turntable” and to make sure that “manual beat matching and analog sound will be in the past, where they belong”. These ridiculous statements alone should tell you that this is an utter crock. And here’s why.

Enter one of the new breed of satirical DJ sites, who cited alleged NI spokesman Michael Dressler as the source of this news. Of course we called up NI, who confirmed that Michael Dressler was unavailable for comment  — as he doesn’t actually exist. But sources confirm that he has cleared his pretend desk and is “spending time with his imaginary family while considering his make-believe career in entirely fictitious PR”.

We jest of course, but it should have been obvious that there never was a Michael Dressler, nor any plan for NI to buy Technics. Just like equalizermag’s story of a purist DJ killing a Traktor DJ, these stories have been written just within the very extremes of possibility, but just enough to have people think that it might just be true. But they’re not.

NI hasn’t bought Technics. I know that some of you so desperately want Technics to return in just about any guise, so I’ll put this in context so that you can understand the state of the DJ market — global turntable sales got to the point where even the mighty Technics couldn’t sell enough turntables to stay alive. And if they can’t, then nobody can.

I await a salvo of comments about the resurgence of vinyl and how Technics should fire up the product line and make loads of money again. The real conversation however is were you actually taken in by this? And will you be sure to take such stories with more than a pinch of salt in the future? 😉


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