The digital DJ age brings many amazing benefits, such as having billions of tracks that you’ll never play, a constant fight with OS and software updates, and two sync buttons for every DJ on the planet. But with all this cool stuff comes a dark downside, something that we have all done, probably continue to do, and somehow think it’s OK and maybe even a little bit cool. It’s the C-word — clipping.
We’re not judging you, but we want to help. So what follows is a handy step by step guide to eliminating those pesky red lights, thus rendering you as a DJ god worthy of the Jesus pose that you probably routinely pull off while those meters redline all night long.
Sabotage
The issue with clipping is the obvious and constant red LEDs being on display. So the easiest thing to do is make sure they don’t appear. This is why we recommend always carrying a roll of gaffer, duct, insulation, or gorilla tape in your DJ bag. Simply tear off small strips and place over the red LEDs on the meters. And for that extra level of professionalism, tape over the orange ones too, so that you’re always in the green. At the end of the night, remove the tape and everyone will think you’re a sound Jedi master.
For a less obvious but more destructive approach, always tape a Sharpie to colour in the necessary LEDs. A non-permanent marker can be wiped away at the end of the evening, but they do tend to bleed light through the ink a little.
In your average murky booth or sticky floored bar, nobody will ever know.
Camouflage
An easier and less destructive approach is to disguise the LEDs with things that you have around you. If there’s space, why not strategically place a coaster over the LEDs and stand your sponsored energy drink on it?
Another approach is to use a Postit note with fake indecipherable requests. This has a useful side effect of being able to dissuade punters from asking for real requests because of the loooong list of existing ones.
The digital age brings its own camouflage in the shape of a laptop stand. Just position it right over the meters so that the crowd can’t see them, and ideally so that you can’t either, so that you don’t have to be bothered with piffling annoyances such as stopping distortion.
For that real superstar DJ touch, strategically placed cake is the perfect disguise. Remember — if you can’t see it clipping, then it isn’t clipping.
Subterfuge
Clubs are generally full of wasted punters who have little time or comprehension for explanations. So to put them off, devise a lengthy pseudo-science bollocks diatribe about how you always drive the mixer hard so that the club experiences the fullest spectrum of sound. Without red, the sound is dead. Or something.
If however your explanation doesn’t work, it may be wise to add that you deliberately and organically distort the sound, because it’s part of who you are and how you don’t trust shitty digital effects to deliver the same emotion. “The dance floor can tell the difference” makes the people feel special and discerning.
The biggest get-out is to play the blame game. You could say that you have to push the mixer to 11 to make up for the sub standard house system. Don’t try this if the logo on the PA is Void, Funktion One, or some other cutting edge system though because you will definitely look like the bullshitter that you are.
The last and most dangerous tactic is to find a scapegoat. Blame “the sound guy”, an especially smart tactic if there actually isn’t one. “Typical — screws it all up and disappears” followed by a shrug is a good response. This will work unless there actually is a sound guy the size of a house with a explosive temper, fuelled by energy drinks, steroids, and other less legal substances. He will definitely clip you and make you red line.
The very last resort
Alternatively, buy a book, talk to a sound guy, and learn everything there is to know about best sound practices. Christ knows there’s enough material online all about it. And then you can climb into our ivory tower and see how great the view is from up here. ;)
Amen to that! Tell it like it is Mark! (from a big angry sound guy) :)
Haha, brilliant Mark! I enjoyed reading that.
DJWORX – we troll because we care.
We know that at some point, someone will take this seriously.
Those peak meters exist for a reason and a real dj knows this.
it’s a balancing act using both your gain and master.
only a sucker dj would do all of the above “cheats”!
try recording a mixtape/CD without knowing how to balance your sound!
good luck with the mastering!
The above reveals lack of mixing skill.
Damn this new generation…..analog always win
Cheats? I say trade secrets.
Oh dear.
Awesome read for a Friday, and loved how tongue in cheek it was!
Hahahahahaha, loved it. I actually had a guy tell me to turn up my sound over a broadcast because it was too quiet on his system. SMH.
I’m guessing he was using laptop speakers? I actually get this ish all the time at work. Wish people would invest into a playback system with a sensible amount of headroom, instead of always buying the cheapest option and having to turn the last volume dial to 11 just to be able to hear the latest peaklimited-to-death-0dBFS pop choons.
Lol. One more excuse to bring cake to shows. And if I get hungry, dinner is right there!
I use cake as an obvious reference. Muffins are probably a better choice because of size. But equally a burger would fit on your average mixer.
That was awesome Mark. Favorite quote “if you can’t see it clipping, then it isn’t clipping”…. couldn’t be more true!!!
I hope that one day, that’ll become a famous DJ quote, with clear attribution to someone else other than me.
and to enhance the mix further, turn the bass on the current track and the incoming track all the way round to the right – works every time ;)
Turnt 2 11.
or just get the Door Staff to throw out the DJ police, know it alls who don’t actually have a gig themselves
Mixer is in the red means ladies in the bed
I actually lol’s at this IRL… hahahah, that’s what gets the girls; permanently damaging their hearing! ahaha
The last time I was teaching “how to DJ” I think I spent two hours explaining the facts about clipping and redlining… thank you Mark, next time I will give them a link to this article and expend the two hours having some drinks with the students.
Handy hint — give out little rolls of gaffer tape to your students. They’ll thank you for it. ;)
a little early for that April 1st post Mark…
It’s always the right time for some fun. It all gets too serious round these parts sometimes.
http://i.imgur.com/7JvqUHb.jpg
Thank you for this, made me spit my coffee out this morning from laughing.
Wunderground ain’t got nothin’ on us!
is this you Dan?
Yeah, that’s me on the left just out of shot.
All joking aside, there’a a reason that sound engineers love booking me to DJ Tech – below is a typical pic when one of my mixers go out on hire:
White electrical tape across the entire mixer at +7db —- Sound engineers heaven!
Was surprised that it was the younger DJs who were all riding that white line (no pun intended) to perfection and the older ones, although keeping the line faders steady, where all over the place with the master. This particular gig was 22 DJ change-overs over 2 stages in 15 hrs and only 1 DJ redlined… but not for very long ;)
Be friendly to the DJ, ask them what they thought of the sound in the venue when they came in (they usually gush about how amazing it sounds: huge D&B rig, so super super loud but not fatiguing on the ears) and THEN you show them the mixer is in the green! Not the orange, not the red but the green. Go into the red once and get a friendly tap on the shoulder and a friendly smile. Stay I’m the red and get one crazy motherfukin Scotsman screaming in your face that they’re not there to babysit some stupid DJ with a fuckin ego :) or just go down and turn the system down to 20% and let then play in the red for the rest of their set.
that last paragraph just doesnt make sense
edited to make it clearer