Last month, Guardian columnist Emma Freud took to Twitter to ask a simple question — “what is your biggest regret?”. Back came an outpouring of emotional depth that she hadn’t expected. This in turn made me examine my life (I have no regrets in this respect), but more importantly my DJ life. Do I have any regrets with my DJ career?
I’m a believer in the maxim of life is what you make it. And the deliberate choices I’ve made over the years have got me to a pretty remarkable point, one where I continue to pinch myself at the position I find myself in within this world we call DJ. So I had to dig deep to really discover things that I feel remorseful about. So to get the ball rolling, here goes:
I never finished that Acid House album and gave away a TB-303 — well more accurately I never got as far to where finishing was in sight. All I know is that even in their unfinished decidedly non-producer state, the tracks I’d done were absolute bangers, and such fun to make too.
Those 4 track recordings are long gone, and while I can get Roland gear all over again, but it won’t be the same. I’ve learned many things over the years, but one is not to try to recapture the past. I could restart skratchworx all over again to capitalise on the portablist scene, but that’s just looking back. It was great, but now new challenges await.
But having written this and read it back, it’s clear that there’s not point regretting it at all. I could recreate it, but it wouldn’t change anything, nor I suspect would having actually finishing it in the first place either.
I haven’t done a decent mix in years — specifically it’s not that I can’t, I just don’t. There’s a particular moment last year when it all culminated in the realisation that in my role as arbiter of DJ technology, I haven’t been much of a DJ at all. And despite the constant churn of technology passing through and subsequent flow of content, the amount of actual DJing I do is pretty minimal, to the point that I probably haven’t done anything resembling a mix of more than a few tracks in literally years.
What was that moment? Fellow DJWORXer Ray came to BPM 2016, and at the same time stayed over to see the new Worxlab. One evening, we had a cook-off at my house, and while I was prepping my dish, Ray had disappeared into the original skratchlab (just off the kitchen) to play with my gear. I’d put on my Spotify favourites (a meander through all manner of genres over the years), and Ray decided to play with some vinyl I’d just bought, mixing in some new Acid house with whatever was playing on Spotify at the time.
He disappeared upstairs, leaving me alone with simmering food and some good music. So I stepped up, and without the pretext of pushing gear through the reviews machine, simply mixed. It wasn’t for long, as I could feel Ray’s presence getting ever closer. But it was enough to make me realise that I couldn’t remember that last time I’d actually DJed for fun. Sure, I’ll stand and scratch for a while, but that’s just a small part of who I am as a DJ.
Even writing this and sharing it with you gets me quite emotional. The realisation that I haven’t performed a single set in almost 15 years of skratchworx and DJWORX is quite profound. Given my profile, you’d think that it’s all I do. But running a website about DJ gear is not the same as DJing. I’m so focussed on the technicalities of gear that I’ve lost sight of the reasons why I ever became a DJ. Moral of this story — don’t get caught up in the gear. It’s all about the music.
Luckily I’ve realised this before it’s too late, and is a regret I can fix. I’m slowly stocking up on music that I missed out on (’90 onward) and plan to lock myself away from time to time and simply have fun. And I’ll use my own tried and trust setup to do it as well. I expect it’s easy to go down the reviewer rabbit hole and focus on things I don’t like on review gear, rather than get lost in the music moment. One thing is certain — I’m sure as hell not playing out again. Stepping up to decks in front of people is hard, especially when surrounded by some amazing talent in the team. Perhaps the odd mixtape though, but don’t hold your breath. I only ever DJed for me anyway.
For me, it’s not what I didn’t do, but more about what I have yet to do. I have an unwritten bucket list of things I’d like to achieve (pressing vinyl and cutting my own are ticked). But I’m focussed on making sure that I do the things I’ve been wanting to do for a few years now. I’d hate to look back in another 15 years writing another article lamenting not doing the things I truly wanted to.
Carpe diem my friends, which is of course Latin for compact disc.
BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Feel free to use this moment as a cathartic release. It doesn’t have to be a deep as my fundamental self realisation. Did you miss out on a killer gear deal? Did you do something that killed a dance floor and your career? Perhaps you stopped DJing and wish you hadn’t sold your gear and vinyl. Whatever it is, feel free to unload. Nobody will judge you or laugh, although expect the odd Picard facepalm.
Selling my 1210s! Otherwise no real regrets!
First of all thanks this article. It’s really interesting because I starting following your work without skratchworx a site I absolutely adored. I always wondered why you switched to this format, and was kind of sad to see skratchworx go. So it’s really interesting to hear your reasons for it, and why you won’t go back. I find myself thinking “yeah as much as I liked skratchworx I can see how that would feel a backward step”.
I also found (if I may brown nose a little here) as one of my favourite commentors on DJing and mix culture, it very strange that I could never find any mixes of yours. Often I’ve thought “I’d love to hear what this guy’s mixes would sound like” especially because you appear to have a love of a lot of stuff I love and it would be interesting to hear a mix from someone who knows their shit and who loves house, electro, hip hop and turntables makes.
It’s interesting then to hear that this is something of a regret of yours. I hope you do get back into it and put out some mixes. And more importantly I hope you enjoy the process of doing it.
My regret….
Quite simply that I didn’t have any promotional skills whatsoever. Something I largely put down to a lack of confidence.
I came up at a time when I think it may just about have been possible for me to be a working, touring DJ….without having to have a record out/be a “DJ producer.” There were also millions less DJs wanting to be in the game.
Sadly although people told me I was good I never pushed myself with promo. A combination of thinking pushing myself on people would be crass, nerves and a lack of self esteem meant that i’d very rarely push mixes into people’s hands. I don’t think I ever had the balls to ask a promoter for a gig.
My biggest achievement in DJig was when I did a decent eclectic mix that I happened to record. That mix was sent to the BBC and they asked me to go down to their studios and they played it on Radio 6.
I was so nervous and so lacking in confidence I didn’t even tell anyone in my circle about it. Only my mum, a handful of my mates and whoever was listening to the radio when it went out live, heard about it.
That could have been the big break needed to get something going.
So yeah, that’s my big regret and hopefully a lesson for any young up and coming dj’s: If you want this to be your career, hammer the self promotion. You have to be bold as brass and put aside embarrassment. If you have ANY success or good things happen to you, find out how to put it out there to as many people as you can. Get in touch with local press to celebrate your achievements. Press as many mixes into the hands of promoters as you can. Dont be naive: Find out how the system works and milk it.
….and if you have any national exposure (suh as going out on national radio haha!) whatsoever you quite frankly need to find out how DJ agents work and try and get on their books.
Step out of your own way.
So true about the promoting thing. I really would love to be able to do some gigs around the country, but really can’t be arsed farting about with all the promoting bullshit. I know I’m a good DJ, but the hustle is a hassle.
One regret in terms of equipment: about 10 years ago I finally saved enough cash to buy an additional piece of gear. I had the choice between the Rodec Scratchbox and a Vestax Controller One. I went for the Scratchbox because my other mixer started to fool around…. not the worst decision but looking back now I wish I would have bought the Controller One.
Well you’d certainly make a shed load more money if you sold it now. ;)
Ya,
I got into electrofunk, not quite when it first came along, but fairly
early in the 80s, when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I was into
breakdancing, but was never very good at it. I’ve always regretted that I
didn’t move into DJing and producing at that time, and also that I
didn’t discover house and techno at the same time (but that wasn’t easy,
being a kid and living in Ottawa, not really on the cutting edge of
urban music scenes). I eventually moved away from electrofunk,
eventually into metal, and only got back into electronic music in the
early 90s. Started DJing in 1996, producing in 1998. Got back into
electrofunk in 1999. Didn’t really properly discover techno till about
2002.
Also
about 10-12 years or so ago, I suddenly lost the hearing in one ear
from an ear infection. I haven’t really been able to mix since, so it’s forced me to
focus on production and live performance. Maybe if I was better at
mixing to begin with, I could have adapted, but I’ve always been more
about good taste in music and creative mixing, while my beatmatching was
less than stellar. I’ve always regretted that, even though it’s pretty
much beyond my control. Still got my gear and all my records, don’t want to let go of them, but can’t really make use of them.
Selling my cdjs and getting into digital djing. It was a massive time drain that I hadn’t anticipated and, for me, the negatives far outweighed the positives. The gear and acquisition of it started becoming the focus and the music took a backseat. I’m planning on picking up a cdj (or pair) so that I can just plug and play and listen to music for its own sake. I just want to pop a cd in, mix (however I feel) and play records from A to B and enjoy the music. No career aspiration regret, just to do it more regularly as a hobby.
“Selling my cdjs and getting into digital djing.” – Huh? CDJs are specifically for digital DJing. In fact, that’s all they do.
I meant digital djing in the sense of controllers and dj software and music downloads as opposed to physical media and standalone hardware, which my cdj 1000s were limited to. I think, for me at least, those limitations were a good thing.
My only regret is not taking hearing protection seriously from day one. Tinnitus is a motherfucker!
I left producing and deejaying to get married in 2012. At the time, I was on a consistent rise. After being divorced and moving on from that relationship, quitting music at that time was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. Now I find myself playing a huge game of catch up. The technology, politics, and attendees have changed so much in that time, and I never had a chance to move with the change. Lesson learned, though. My next long term relationship will be with a person who understands, the music is the key to my happiness.
Here’s the thing: If you feel you have to give a thing you love up to make a relationship work, something ain’t right. I was in that sort of relationship previously. It wasn’t explicitly said to stop anything, but subtly chipped away.
I’ve also seen people selling their DJ/music gear for knock-down prices, “to pay for the wedding”. There was a guy on ebay selling like, 1,000 vinyl records for £150. You could literally stop buying from Starbucks for a few months to earn that back.
Crazy.
Super crazy. The part that hurt the most was when she sold the bulk of my record collection after we split. A lot of those records were acetates, dub plates, or records that are now $40-100 each, but were only $7-10 when I got em.
Yeah, I got rid of a 303 too. Luckily I held on to an MC202 and an SH101 though. Had various recordings and productions released on vinyl and CD in the past. Don’t really do DJ mixes any more either. Been there, done that. More likely to knock up a remix or two in Ableton Live these days (did one of Havana the other day).
Regrets? Well maybe that DMC never thought anything I sent them was worthy of publishing. Would’ve loved a job with them, putting the mixes together. Did get to work with Chad Jackson though, on the remix of Rob Base that he did (Turn It Out, 1990).
End of the 90s i was in our local Music Equipment Store and there was a 909 standing in front of me.
1000 or 1500 Deutsche Mark. Don’t remember exactly.
And what did i bought?
A Drumstation and a CS1x.
:(
I had a similar experience with an 808.
and a worse one with a 303, if I recall?
You leave his unfinished album alone!
Letting a bout of depression get the better of me, and hanging up the headphones, about 10 years ago. Too old, fat and out of touch with the music scene to jump back in now! :)
Nonsense. Age is a state of mind, music is timeless, and as I have learned recently, you can exercise.
My biggest regret is that I never learned to read or write.
Deep down Louisiana close to New Orleans
Way back up in the woods among the evergreens
There stood a log cabin made of earth and wood
Where lived a country boy named Jam B. Urglar-ood
Who never ever learned to read or write so well
But he could play the turntable just like a ringing a bell
My biggest regret is spending more time with hacking tech than I did with making music over the last decade. Luckily, having reached a point at which I’m finally happy with the capabilities of my setup, I’m getting around to fixing that mistake over the next couple of months.
I also regret a little bit that I never learned to scratch properly, but (grab yer torches and pitchforks!) this isn’t too big a deal.
This is the best article yet. Bravo. While I don’t say it’s a regret, I do wish that I discovered DJing in my teens/20s (in the 90s) instead of 30s. I imagine that the 90s were a wild time for DJs…
Maybe we should start a support group instead of all the gear nonsense.
Phonoholics Anonymous…?
I wish I’d taken it more seriously, earlier on. By the time I realised I was good at it, and had enough confidence in myself, I was already in my 30s, with a wife and the prospect of kids looming. Once you get past the stage where you have wide social circles and are able to spend any significant time in venues you might want to play, the hustle gets way too daunting, and you just don’t have the energy. I have no doubt that if I was offered gigs, I could blow the competition out of the water, but I’m up against 20-somethings who can show up at short notice and bring a couple dozen friends to the gig. Never mind the professionalism, or the experience.
A few do come to mind…
– Not listening to the guys at Axe Music waaaay back in the day about how I could just get a DM1050 and 2x TT200’s and be happy, and instead went with the Numark Scratch Pak v2
– Selling off my 14MU or so modular synthesizer in order to rapidly clear up some past due bills (in all fairness though, I did know I’d have to put another $3k CAD or more into making it a viable setup, and as nice as a dotcom modular is, Frac or Euro is just soo much more portable, and takes up like half the space)
– Going with straight tonearms on my Stanton 150’s. I don’t scratch, and while I had intentions of getting into it, I never did. Straight tonearms would have allowed me to use a wider variety of cartridges
– Deciding that saving $1,500 CAD was worth giving up on my dream of a (at the time still UK built) Xone:92, and being happy with the Kontrol Z2 (which I still am, but there’s still that insane urge to pick up 2x Kontrol D2’s to “add things in”)
– Dragging my feet with moving to a hybrid 80/20 digital/analogue setup. Ten years ago I had a really awesome pay (about 3x what I make now) and HTFR was still going strong, so I figured that not only would the music I’m into djing (and listening to) continue to be pressed to vinyl, but I’d also be able to keep affording it. Yeah, $20 CAD per 12″ kind of kills your wallet really quick. Nowadays a lot of the stuff I’m into is mainly digital only releases.
I’d say the biggest one though is letting some of my gear just sit there collecting dust, as somewhere I let other things take over, and I keep looking longingly at my decks at the end of the day. I really should spend more time with them, and stop coming up with various excuses (borrowed the surge protector for something else in the house, was renovating, was painting, was sorting through various things and the area in front of my turntables was a great staging ground while sorting, I want to have spare money to buy stuff on Beatport, etc etc) to keep myself away from them. They’re fun, relaxing, and ever so enjoyable. Somewhere along the line, I apparently forgot that it’s all about the journey, and mixing for oneself.
…Thankfully, I have a good amount of friends (and a hubby!) that keep bugging me to get off my ass and start djing again! ^_^
Ripping about 2000 cds in 128kbps back in the days.
I wasn’t djing then, I was emigrating and I didn’t wanna haul my cds with me. So I sat down and ripped all of them to my laptop then that had only a 40gb hard drive.
Of course they sounded good to me but by the time I got into djing…they were poor.
Another regret, not knowing how to play any musical instrument…that was due to lack of opportunity than failure.
“Ripping about 2000 cds in 128kbps…” auch!
Yeah, I did something similar, oblivious to file compression quality – until I listened to them!
To be fair, back then, 128kbps was usually touted as “CD quality encoding”. Bonus points for artifacting in the track due to ripping on a crappy processor.
I did the same, I’ve re ripped most of them now
Not buying a few bitcoins ;)
My biggest regret is not documenting a lot of what I did in clubs and on the radio. Social media was not yet on your iPhone like it is today and I think people would appreciate seeing 1500 people screaming all night without the use of the microphone, like they do today. Just hot music, played at the right time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5UAYAaWG8k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W_RQ0FuZiw
Enjoy
Fire mixes
My man!!! Thank you for all the love :)
Probably the fact that back in 2001 when my fledgling DJ career was just about to actually become a career, I joined the RAF (I had just started playing regularly in a local club and had recently had one of my mixes in iDJ magazine with very positive comments). That was the end of my DJ dream, at least as a career. I never quite got back into it the same way after leaving the RAF even though I tried.
I still love DJing (obviously or I wouldn’t be on this site) but it’ll never be more than a hobby now.
Nope!
My only regret was I stopped Live DJ’ing in 2007. If you don’t use it..YOU WILL LOSE IT! I just hope being 51yrs. is too late to rediscover my love for mixing the beats. Cheers to all that have STUCK TO IT! ;) I miss it so much =(
btw…I started being a Live DJ in 1986.
I meant to say “I jusy hope 51 yrs old. is NOT too late to rediscover my love for mixing the beats. Hell I better learn to TYPE first..LMAO! oops! ;)
Well I’m 51 as well, so here’s hoping we both get our mixing mojo back. THere’s no reason at all why we shouldn’t.
biggest regret is that i stopped making music back in the 90’s,sold all my gear ;( biggest plus is that i started following a producers course a few months ago and loving it, started djing 2 years ago and despite the common belief that if your to old at my age to do something like this, thins are looking bright and sunny, good things to come next year…age is just a number..:)
Its an easy one this, spending all my money on clubbing and not indulging in record hunting enough. I spend too much time discovering missed tracks that I recognise the sound of from many a hazy night but never sought out to own myself.
I think the spending all my money on clubbing bit is more the cause of the regret rather than the regret itself because I would have regretted missing most of the nights ive had. Although I spent far too little time at Basics seeing how close it is to where I live, that’s definitely a regret.
I only have two real regrets in my career;
1) Having first been paid to play records one-after-another in 1976 – and having worked in clubs, bars, radio and touring Europe as either a DJ or sound engineer for my entire adult life – I probably have two photographs of my life’s work. It’s a completely different world now, of course – everyone has a camera in their pocket – but the idea of carrying a decent SLR around with you to document your work in the 80’s and 90’s would have been as ridiculous as it would have been impractical.
On tour with Janes Addiction – no photos. DJ’ing an after party for Stevie Wonder – no photos. DJ’ing *with* Grandmaster Flash – no photos. This makes me VERY sad.
…and,
2) Not buying all the TB-303’s that Turnkey (Soho Soundhouse) were knocking out at £79 a piece, when they’d bought Roland UK’s last remaining stocks, when production was ceased in Japan in the early 80’s and the model was discontinued.
It would have been a better investment than Bitcoin!
I have three main regrets. The first is that I DJ’d many hundreds of parties with two cassette decks and and a mixer back in grade school and college because that was all I could afford and never moved up to proper record decks. I really wish I would have just bought turntables and collected as many 7 inch singles as I could, rather than collecting and mixing with cassettes and cassingles. My second regret is that I quit DJing in public from age 22 until 38, though I never stopped making mixtapes and mix cds. My final regret is that when I got back into DJing and playing out, I burned a few bridges because I wasn’t used to all the many shades of flaky-ass bar owners and managers.
I can’t believe no one mentioned the fact of where they started and if they had any regrets not using or using certain equipment or software. I for one have used VirtualDJ since its inception and haven’t looked back!