After Monday’s Technics announcement, do your 15th hand 1200s suddenly look old and just a bit too shiny? Are you craving that factory fresh fix of all black goodness? Well look no further! Introducing the not in any way real and hastily Photoshopped range of TechnicsTransformations™ products from DJWORX.

It’s an established fact there are no longer any actually new Technics in circulation, and all have been owned at least three times* — even the ones bought new in shops. So wouldn’t it be nice if you could have that box fresh smell without the fresh box? Then our NEW 1210 SMELL spray is for you! Start every day with the industrial rubbery and burning electronic smell of brand new Technics, and remember when you didn’t buy them new, just like most people haven’t. And for a small upgrade fee, we’ll send a plastic bag of paper, wire ties, and other pointless plastic bags for you to stuff in a drawer, just like if you did an unboxing video on Youtube!

*SOURCE — Institute for Studies.

Has the new Technics 1210 announcement left your 1200s looking just a bit too bright and shiny for your liking? Have you started playing more Techno than Hip Hop? Or do you just want to fool everyone into believing that you actually have the money and connections to buy new MK7s before they’re available in shops? Look no further than the 1210 PEN! Grab a 5 pack and colour in your old fashioned 1200 to instantly become a spanking new 1210 mk7! Why not combine the 1210 PEN and NEW 1210 SMELL for the ultimate in deluding yourself and lying to your friends that you have the new MK7s!!

Are you a busy DJ and haven’t got the time to mess around with colouring-in pens? Who does these days? Those incorrect internet comments on DJWORX don’t answer themselves right? Has the finished result got to be able to fool even the most diehard of fanboys, and equally shop owners for when you try to “return” them without the receipt that your dog ate? The only solution is the 1200 to 1210 Conversion Paint.

The smoothest finish in the fastest time awaits. And because the SL-1210 MK7 is all black (even the non-black bits), there’s no need to waste time masking components — just spray away until the 1200 is gone! You can even leave the vinyl on!

PRO TIP: Leave the dust cover on for a lighter finish.

To complete the look, there’s a set of MK7 stickers we scanned off of the internet and printed on the best inkjet paper we had stuffed in a drawer. So your sticky, shiny, and shabby old 1200s will become smart, sexy, and something else beginning with S in a matter of minutes! Or your money back!!

The sheer number of exclamation marks we’ve used tells you just how awesome and brilliant you’ll feel when you give your now old fashioned 1200s a MK7 facelift. Nobody will ever know, you won’t need to sell a kidney, and you can have them TODAY*!!

*Please allow 28 days for delivery. But probably much MUCH longer. 

* To avoid regional confusion, in Europe the 1200 is Silver, and the 1210 is black. Probably. Shit — I hate having to explain jokes. 🙁

SMALL PRINT: Not actual product. Not available in any shops. Do not send money. Please don’t sue us. Please don’t share this thinking that it’s real, because you’ll look so incredibly foolish. Somebody will though. Most importantly, have a great weekend!