Friday Fun: Caption this and win some V-MODA headphones

If you’re active on social media, this image will have been popping up in your various timelines this morning, and with good reason. The image is self-explantory – now that the DJ world runs on MP3s, it would appear that Smirnoff believe that DJs don’t need needles, slipmats, vinyl or mixers anymore. And they wear jumpers. What in God’s name were they thinking?

Now I could write a epic tome on this subject that would quite literally and intentionally bore you into a solid coma. But instead of taking up all the good material, I want you to come up with smart arse one liner captions and post them below. And then using the  ratings thingy, vote up the ones you like. At the end of next week, I’ll look at the ratings and pick the winner.

A pair of V-MODA M-80s are up for grabs. I really like them and don’t want to let them go. So make me laugh. Earn them.

  • NURSE: “Time to take your medicine, John”

  • nurve

    “Like, can you play my favorite lady gaga song?”

    “Sorry lov

  • Girl thinking:

    Is my perfume ok? Hope he notices my cleavage. He’s so hot I just wanna drag him in a corner right now. I hope everyone is seeing me up here close to the DJ.

    DJ thinking:

    This mix is sooooo dope!

  • nurve


    “like, can you play my favorite song by lady gaga?”

    “sorry love, you do know its a silent disco, right?”

  • DJ: Trust me baby, no-one does ‘Silent Disco’ quite like me!

  • “I know i was going to show you how to wiki wiki wahh, but i lent a few bits to DJWorx, for testing and review…saw them on his ebay account. this is how high his positive feedback will end up coz of this!”

  • “DJWorx- Now stocking accoustically insulated jumpers for the concerned DJ at mind”

  • – Do you remember when I used to play vinyl ?
    – Yes, this is how we meet !
    Dj thinking “I had more chicks too in these days…”

  • JonnyFlash

    “So this is how Paris Hilton does it…”

  • Forget David Guetta, this is how we roll!

  • The art of air DJing

  • As Matt Le Blanc tried to impress the 3-boobed girl with his jedi DJ tricks, she couldn’t help but wonder what he meant by “meat juggling”

  • photojojo

    F*** me I’m famous

  • Stewe

    “You can let it go for now dear, there’s gonna be enough of time for that later on..”

  • jimmyjim

    “It’s not what you got, it’s how you use it … ”


    Girl: “Woow, you even better than this Qu-Bart dude!”
    Dude: “I told you so! Now shut the fuck up, bi*ch!”

  • new technics/apple collaboration: the turntablAIR 0815

  • -Found these in my Dad’s room…here’s what I would do if I was Skrillex!

  • “I like my ladies like i like my turntables, poorly put together and unable to function properly”

  • Scoundrelistix

    “Daaamn, this shit is actually gonna get me laid!”

  • Mike:”Crap, Jenny is looking. I gotta play it off like I’m actually spinning this mix I downloaded offa mix” Jenny:”Mike is such a f’in poser.”

  • DJNicholy

    Her, “Call me Maybe?” Him, “No Breasts, No requests..:)”

  • blasta masta

    please drink responsibly !
    and put some needle on the record
    because chicks don`t dig air dj ing.
    well , maybe they do , after bottle of smirnoff.

  • dj highline

    “Are you really spinning wax or are your tonearms just happy to see me?”

  • MatthewRay

    Smirnoff: You’ll be so drunk, even YOU will think you’re a DJ.

  • if only she knew a thing or two about djing, she’d realize he’s only using those headphones for their noise attenuation…

  • itdesign

    Hey Babe, check out this sick acoustic DJ set! A real DJ doesn’t need vinyl or functional equipment to drop a nasty set!

  • Abra-abra-cadabra I want to reach out and grab ya!

  • MeowMix

    Smirnoff, you’ll be off your tits

  • dubplatsa

    Hey Mr. DJ, you know that my panties is also invisible?

  • Dj Honest

    I also produce!

    • JAndrew

      What does this even MEAN??!!

    • I think we have winner. Made me almost spit my coffee out.

  • If the girls always fake in bed … Why wouldn’t you to get them there ! :p

  • schottky

    Drink Responsibly
    or risk looking like these tools.

  • drbecker

    Success is…
    …when someone else is taking care of the little details.

  • KLH

    DJ Hero is sooo much better than being a real DJ!

  • KLH

    … What I actually do!


  • KLH

    God, I hope she doesn’t look under the table and see her roommate…


  • KLH

    DJ School seemed so exciting until no sound came out…


  • KLH

    So Gizmo said to move like this and girls will… IT’S WORKING! IT’S WORKING!


  • Smirnoff, So good that you will not even need a needle to get those free BJs

  • BrainstormCrib

    !Look at me I’m mixing Four Decks “hiccup”.

  • linz

    Dj training wheels for the plonkers who’ve had one too many appletinis.

  • “Thanks darling, but when I said I had a vinyl fetish, this isn’t what I had in mind…….”

  • “Watch me replay the set that won me the DMC championship”
    (Chicks Digg this)

  • Now if I could just figure out where to plug in the laptop…

  • Or what she said. if this is a night club then where are all the people???

  • Or what she said. if this is a night club then where are all the people

  • Or what she said “if this is a night club then where are all the people”

  • ace

    Let Smirnoff put a spin on your evening!

  • Scoundrelistix

    Buying ad space for random websites: 3000$
    Renting and arranging random cool DJ equipment out of the box: 1000$
    Hiring Female Model showing cleavage: 2500$
    Hiring Male Model showing Fake Smile: 1500$
    Making a total idiot of your company because you don’t know s*** about anything: PRICELESS

  • “if you can’t spot the problem in this picture, you have had enough Smirnoff!”

  • Pop Quiz: who is more drunk? The girl impressed by the Dj…or the guy who thinks he’s a Dj???

  • “Smirnoff and Microsoft Kinect bring you the Ultimate Fake DJ Experience”

  • Smirnoff Presents: Master of the Mix Season 3.

  • Give me a break it’s the only gig I could get after DJ Mag busted me cheating…

  • Gravity ONE

    I don’t always pretend to be a dj, but when I do, I choose Smirnoff.

  • “I taught David Guetta everything he knows!”

  • “Hopefully, pretending to be a DJ will get her attention off of my terrible, headphones, jersey shore haircut, hippy bracelet, ribbed shirt, and sports watch”.

  • “The latest Native Instruments Traktor Scratch video didn’t turn out as well as expected”

  • TMRW

    Girl: “When you are finished playing with these two, you can continue with my platters !”

  • Not quite a caption but:

    This is why drink Grey Goose:

  • Let me show you how to DJ on my giant iPad

  • Girl:
    Hey I just Met You
    And this is Crazy
    Are you David Guetta?
    You’re decks are off baby….

  • Times are tough for James Franco & the drunk chick from Superbad…

  • beuis

    Man: “would you give me a BJ if i teach you how to DJ?”
    Girl: “sure, if you could get it up after drinking so much vodka!”

  • schottky

    “Check out my doubles of 4.33 by John Cage!”

    • Avarice

      Dang, should have read comments before posting myself. Well done, sir!

      • schottky

        Great minds eh? 🙂

  • Dj Stu-C

    “Smirnoff, for the chap that prefers to be so incedibly drunk that he wont even notice her pilfering his equipment”

  • 1 Bottle of Smirnoff and anything is possible

  • Traktor 2.6 sure is advanced, you just stick the usb cable up your…

  • Oi mate, turn the music up, I can’t hear nothin playin!

  • A girl this is how to dj like will I am

  • And I thought I was bad when I faked an orgasm with you last night. You rock honey.

  • So this is a pair of turntables

  • Damn, I am spent all my money in hair gel and now I can not even afford needles!

  • He’s playing on the same set-up Paris Hilton is.
    Less is more!

  • Maikky

    “Wait, this isn’t the sync button.” or “Wait, this isn’t the play button.”

    And finally

    “I’m just like Pauly D!”

  • Maikky

    “These are the biggest sync buttons I’ve ever seen!”

  • famousmixerdude

    “Let’s play house!”
    “As in, pretend?”

  • Ridley

    To a girl: “Soon you’ll be naked like those turntables”

  • Loudist

    Far from being disheartened by his disastrous first gig, it actually served as inspiration for the young Ean Golden…

  • DJ – “Man, I hope that roofie kicks in. I don’t know much longer I can fool this slag.”

  • A Smirnoff® Sadlife Experience — Please DJ Responsibly

  • “So I think we’ll put the turntables here, although we’ll obviously need slipmats, cartridges.. those are in the back. Oh right, this deck will need to move to make room for the mixer. Hm, I’m worried the headphone cable is a little short. Don’t worry, by tonight the booth will be ready for your set, miss!”

  • djpenguin

    “Real DJs use turntables,” they said.
    “Technics are the only decks worth having,” they said.
    “Buy some and the ladies will commit home invasions to hang out with you,” they said.

    They were right.

    The SL-1200: it’s magic.

  • i-squared

    Girl: “Wow, David Guetta tought you how to DJ? You should really go to the DJ X-factor!”

  • Girl to wannabe DJ: Are you also going to pretend your playing with me later?

  • Girl to wannabe DJ: I have a request, can you actually put a record on? My Smirnoff hasn’t kicked in yet

  • Smirnoff: Helping dumb people get laid since 1860

  • “Honey, are all our nightlife experiences going to be this lame?”

  • Phi

    I’ve heard of audio clarity, but this is getting ridiculous.

  • The Uri Geller school of DJing – mix and bend pitch with your mind.

  • Phi

    Check out this hot new genre. It’s called sub-minimal.

  • DJ Verge

    Expecto DJing-num!

  • Hey baby, check it out…I’m the next David Guetta!

  • Bunyip

    “Looks like the only two knobs in this setup are us!”

  • bounce

    Girl: Oh, deejay, can you play me… uh… you shure you didn’t forget something?

  • I made a discovery – while doing some routine housekeeping, I came across a stock image that I used for a skratchworx piece entitled “What is pro gear? You tell me….” back in October. It would appear to be the same guy on the same decks, but with a shirt on.


  • Ricky S

    When you said come back to mine and play with my “Deck” i thought you meant something else!

  • Look! No Hands!

  • Just wondering where you plugged your headphone.

  • That’s not what I meant when I requested “the beauty of silence” but it sure as hell sounds better than that dubstep crap you were playing earlier.

  • Avarice

    Hey baby, check out my super sick juggling routine of John Cage’s “4 Minutes & 33 Seconds”!


    John (yelling): “I have just discovered DJing! So cool!”

    Jane (thinking): “I have long discovered you’re an idiot…”

  • skywalka

    I think they’re called gramaphones!

  • Girl: Hey, did you know its lame guys like you are what give real DJ’s a bad representation? I have a mixer, and real 12OO’s and needles in my trunk with 2 record bags and serious headphone (where did you get those Wal-Mart?). Please step away and let a real DJ show you how to do this!

    Boy: ……..

  • ctzokas

    I know its been a long time since you’ve touched a pair of real turntables. But if you don’t start paying me some attention its going to be a long time until you touch my pair again.

  • maber

    “You’re the best AIR-DJ in the World!”

  • 1: I appreciate what the promoter is trying to do here but when i requested a mixer with two out(s) – something must have got lost in translation

    2: I’m going to let her keep shouting these requests – the way these bad boy headphones look, she’d be stupid to think i can hear her!

    3: Just keep smiling and hope she doesn’t kick the cd player thats on the floor

  • southyfreakin


  • versusctx

    Guy’s inside head voice : I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING…

  • deco5

    No mixer, no needles, no records.
    Tonight just got a little less interesting.

  • S**T! , I sent the wrong photoshop file.

  • “I do love like I mix baby !” Smirnoff, stronger than Houdini.

  • djsureshot

    Smirnoff Reminds you to drink responsibly……how you DJ?Well that’s up to you!

  • djsureshot

    this is what happens when you let drunk white guys get behind the wheels and drive

  • djeezzy

    “I already told you… My name is not Joseph Gordon Levitt. Now please lay off the smirnoff, back up and let me do my jesus pose.”

  • Behold, the NEW- Paris Hilton ‘Faux DJ In-a-Box’ mixing set!
    Includes REALISTIC blow up groupie!

  • hugues

    Look honey, these turntables only lack a needle, they’re beautiful !

    You do lack one too darling, they were ment for you…

  • jprime

    I wanna go on record baby: I don’t do needles.

  • DJ570

    Who cares…I premixed my set anyway.

  • “DJ” D-Bag – ‘I wish she’d do it a little faster’

  • “Honey, I don’t even have records, what makes you think I need a mixer?”

  • The emperor’s new track was epic, for those cool enough to hear it.

  • djciscoelnino


  • ”smirnoff vodka so good it doesn’t need a mixer”

  • Tomer

    “Honey, mixing is so 2011”

  • Tomer

    Honey, mixing is so 2011

  • blove

    Nikolai stepped up to the platters realizing that his “can’t fail” pick up lines about being the famous DJ “Hammer and Sickle” from Russia may soon come to an end…

  • blove

    Nikolai stepped up to the platters soon realizing that his go to pick up line about being the famous Russian DJ “Hammer and Sickle” may soon come to an end…

  • The result has been announced – check here: